If only it were this easy...

Dear Mr. Germ:

We regret to inform you that due to the current economic status, we have terminated your position as family illness infector. Many factors have brought us to this decision and while I'm sure you are shocked and upset by this notice I'm certain you will understand after careful scrutiny of the following reasons:

* the escalating costs of fuel for travel to and from our doctor's office.
* increased medication costs.
* space for storing as well as the money invested with the Kleenex corporation.
* money lost from time off from school and/or work.
* excessive washing of clothing and bedding due to messes caused by increased bodily secretions.
* and lastly but quite possibly most important, many sleepless nights.

We have greatly appreciated your tenure with our family and wish you well in your future endeavors. Please feel free to use us as a reference.

Sincerely,


The D Family